zero: May 2008

-----Inline Message Follows-----

Date: Fri, 14 Jan 1994 16:02:56 -0500
From: Chris Johnson
Subject: Re: Job Opening!

Oh mi god. Look at the thread I found! From 1994.

Don’t even bother telling me I’m gumming up your bandwidth. Hell, this isn’t even 1/10 the size of that last image you downloaded from some porn site. You know who you are.
Pete

From chris@TC.Cornell.EDU Fri Jan 14 13:04:15 1994
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Date: Fri, 14 Jan 1994 16:02:56 -0500
From: Chris Johnson
Message-Id: <199401142102.aa18594@theory.tc.cornell.edu>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: Job Opening!
Status: RO

I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong email address. I'm not interested in
a 3D graphics job and my background is entirely different from computer graphics
anyway. Please recheck your alias list before sending out messages to the
wrong people.

From chris@TC.Cornell.EDU Mon Jan 17 06:33:21 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 09:33:13 -0500
From: Chris Johnson
Message-Id: <199401171433.aa15318@theory.tc.cornell.edu>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: Job Opening!
Status: RO

Perhaps so, but do I have the experience or the desire for a job in that field?
I don't think so! Go bother a list of people that I'm not on!

zero list? Oh the days gone by when you could
say anything on the zero list and get away with it... or at least
flamed so sarcastically that you felt almost welcomed and at the same
time burnt. Like a fine wine.... flamed, yet familiar. And as a
dinosaur of the zero list (I'm often heard to say, "Jeesh, I remember
the days we were simply the Brain Dead Bunch (tm)), I'm sorry that the
youngsters of this zero list have no idea of their history, their
heritage.

What's all this blabbering about? Well, on Friday after sending
out a job posting I received this message:

>From: Chris Johnson
>Subject: Re: Job Opening!
>
>I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong email address. I'm not
>interested in a 3D graphics job and my background is entirely
>different from computer graphics anyway. Please recheck your alias
>list before sending out messages to the wrong people.

As an author on the zero list, it is my job to send messages to the
wrong people. MY JOB, did you hear ME? And, for your knowledge,
the zero list is founded on EVERYONE being a graphics weenie!
Even Dick "I know how to use IconTool(tm)" Craddock, and
Ron "Pie Chart" Stahlberg. Everyone, except for Bill "Bits-are-my-life,
I'm-under-the-hood-leave-me-alone" Gallmeister, and we let him join out
of pity.

AND, by the way, I have the right alias... I AM that alias. I live and breathe
the zero alias. I helped create the very thing YOU seek to destroy, to
mock, to belittle. I guess us oldtimers just don't post enough, to show
the way, to BE the zeros of the future as well as the past.

On Friday I was feeling the benevolent old coot, so I responded:

>This is the zero list? Hello, is this thing on?

To which I got the response:
>Perhaps so, but do I have the experience
>or the desire for a job in that field? I don't think so! Go bother a
>list of people that I'm not on!

Again, I ask (but this time to all),
This is the zero list? Is this thing on?

Am I a bother? I sure hope so. That's my job, MAN.
Wasted net-bandwidth is part of the charter of the zero list.
I'm SUPPOSED to bother you, in a kind of obsequious-purple-cyberpunk
way.

I think it's time for a mass-hysteria old-fashioned lynchin'!

When did this group become alt.humor?

With a tear in my eye, I sign this,
Pete Ladkeerterwicz

PS This message, for those of you who don't know, is supposed to
be humorous.

From swalters@scripps.edu Mon Jan 17 10:44:33 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 10:44:14 PST
From: swalters@scripps.edu (Sharon Walters)
Message-Id: <9401171844.aa11831@struct.scripps.edu>
To: litwinow@apple.com, zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Re: What's happened?
Status: RO

WHO IS this Chris Johnson anyway?
Just trying to get something started.

From surles@SDSC.EDU Mon Jan 17 10:46:46 1994
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From: surles@SDSC.EDU
Message-Id: <9401171843.aa03516@bambam.sdsc.edu>
To: zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Re: What happened
Status: RO

The earth is shaking, LA is on fire (again), and carolina lost to weasels
from tech.

Curtis, where are the bball reports!

mark

From jeff@unx.sas.com Mon Jan 17 10:49:21 1994
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From: Jeff Creech
Message-Id: <199401171847.aa27548@cicero.unx.sas.com>
Subject: Re: What's happened?
To: litwinow@apple.com (Pete Litwinowicz)
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 13:47:26 -0500 (EST)
Cc: litwinow@apple.com, zero@ncsc.org
In-Reply-To: <9401171833.aa22659@apple.com> from "Pete Litwinowicz" at Jan 17, 94 10:33:31 am
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Status: RO

Hey, Pete, as usual, has some coherent thoughts on this subject.
I think this calls for a restarting of the Thursday evening gatherings
somewhere warm and enclosed like the old days (in the winter, all summer
zero functions have to include He's Not.) to make fun of Mark Surles (may
his married soul rest in peace) and watch Billo beat the shit out of his
forehead on pinball machines.

Hey, what's become of us??? We're old, we're obviously not watching
enough Beavis and Butthead (which could be titled "Fred and Henry
when they were young").

We're working too hard (except Randy and I, we work at SAS), we're
not drinking enough, we're not killing enough brain cells per day!

Anything going on this Thursday? Meet at Hstreet or Bubs at 9:00????

-jeff "s. is for nostalgic"

> Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 10:33:31 -0800
> From: Pete Litwinowicz
> To: litwinow@apple.com, zero@ncsc.org
> Subject: What's happened?
>
>
> Again, I ask (but this time to all),
> This is the zero list? Is this thing on?
>
> Am I a bother? I sure hope so. That's my job, MAN.
> Wasted net-bandwidth is part of the charter of the zero list.
> I'm SUPPOSED to bother you, in a kind of obsequious-purple-cyberpunk
> way.
>
> I think it's time for a mass-hysteria old-fashioned lynchin'!

--
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeff Creech E-MAIL: jeff@sas.com
SAS Institute, Open Systems Marekting MA-BELL: 919-677-8000 ext. 6798
"My heart is a third world country and your love is a tourist
from Switzerland." - Tom Robbins, from "Skinny Legs and All"

From randy@unx.sas.com Mon Jan 17 10:50:20 1994
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From: Randy Brown
Message-Id: <199401171845.aa25590@sabre.unx.sas.com>
Subject: Re: What's happened?
To: zero@ncsc.org (Zero Mailing List)
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 13:45:40 -0500 (EST)
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Status: RO

Forwarded message:
> Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 10:33:31 -0800
> From: Pete Litwinowicz
>
> What's happened to the zero list? Oh the days gone by when you could
> say anything on the zero list and get away with it... or at least
> flamed so sarcastically that you felt almost welcomed and at the same
> time burnt. Like a fine wine.... flamed, yet familiar. And as a
> dinosaur of the zero list (I'm often heard to say, "Jeesh, I remember
> the days we were simply the Brain Dead Bunch (tm)), I'm sorry that the
> youngsters of this zero list have no idea of their history, their heritage.

Word of the day that has the widest diversity of meanings:

Speculum:

1: an instrument inserted into a body passage for inspection or medication

2a: an ancient mirror usu. of bronze or silver
2b: a reflector in an optical instrument

3: a medieval compendium of all knowledge

4: a drawing or table showing the relative positions of all the planets
(as in an astrological nativity)

5: a patch of color on the secondaries of most ducks and some other birds

And you thought 'shit' meant a lot of things. Ha! I laugh at your shit!
While holding a speculum! And boy, is that duck mad!

Sorry, got a little off track there, but I guess that's what this
list is all about...

--
Randy Brown SAS email: randy@unx.sas.com Work #: (919) 677-8001, x6852
SAS Institute UNC email: brown@cs.unc.edu Home #: (919) 942-2527

From chris@TC.Cornell.EDU Mon Jan 17 11:09:33 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 14:09:16 -0500
From: Chris Johnson
Message-Id: <199401171909.aa26726@theory.tc.cornell.edu>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: What's happened?
Status: RO

Oh grow up. Get away from the computer, forget about graphics, go take a
vacation to someplace sunny and warm, eat a sub, sleep a little, destroy that
zero list, get some exercise, did I mention destroy that zero list or at least
take my name off it?

From swalters@scripps.edu Mon Jan 17 11:14:15 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 11:14:02 PST
From: swalters@scripps.edu (Sharon Walters)
Message-Id: <9401171914.aa11922@struct.scripps.edu>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: OOps.
Status: RO

I thought I had my alias fixed so I could just send mail to
"pete" and it would go to you, oops, I sent it to someone here
at scripps whose login is 'pete'.

Anyway, this is Chris Johnson, just in case you were wondering.

From chris@TC.Cornell.EDU Mon Jan 17 11:00:00 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 13:59:56 -0500
From: Chris Johnson
Message-Id: <199401171859.aa26254@theory.tc.cornell.edu>
To: swalters@riscsm.Scripps.EDU
Subject: Re: What's happened?
Status: RO

I work a very respectable and commandable job at the Cornell Theory Center. I
work well and am well-liked by most of my superiors and coworkers. I like to
come to work, do my job, do it well, enjoy it and then go home. I don't need
any characters like you to give this place atmosphere. Harumph...

"We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't
need any characters to give the place atmosphere!"

Guess the movie and the person who said it, and then heed his words.

From howard@maptronix.com Mon Jan 17 11:22:25 1994
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From: howard@maptronix.com (Howard Lander)
Message-Id: <9401171908.aa17057@maptronix.com>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: What's happened?
Status: RO

>
>
> What's happened to the zero list? Oh the days gone by when you could
> say anything on the zero list and get away with it... or at least
> flamed so sarcastically that you felt almost welcomed and at the same
> time burnt. Like a fine wine.... flamed, yet familiar. And as a
> dinosaur of the zero list (I'm often heard to say, "Jeesh, I remember
> the days we were simply the Brain Dead Bunch (tm)), I'm sorry that the
> youngsters of this zero list have no idea of their history, their
> heritage.
Pete

I bet that Chris Johnson twerp thinks Nirvana IS classic rock!! Who do you
suppose put that arrogant twit on the ZERO list anyway?

Howard "God-damn glad I'm not in LA" Lander

From swalters@scripps.edu Mon Jan 17 11:25:10 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 11:24:59 PST
From: swalters@scripps.edu (Sharon Walters)
Message-Id: <9401171924.aa11951@struct.scripps.edu>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: OOps.
Status: RO

I sent him email back and told him I basically expected that
sort of reply. I then asked him exactly who he knew on
the zero list and evidently they didn't have sense of humor.

oh well. Did you all feel any of the earthquake this a.m.?
It woke us up pronto, sort of like floating on a raft with
a low rumbling noise somewhere off in the distance. Amanda
of course slept right through it.

tell susan hello!
sharon

From litwinow Mon Jan 17 11:25:31 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 11:25:27 -0800
From: Pete Litwinowicz
Message-Id: <9401171925.aa00536@apple.com>
To: litwinow, zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Removal from zero list
Status: RO

Sent to me, but since I'm not the zero-meister...

>From: Chris Johnson
>Oh grow up. Get away from the computer, forget about graphics, go take a
>vacation to someplace sunny and warm, eat a sub, sleep a little, destroy that
>zero list, get some exercise, did I mention destroy that zero list or at least
>take my name off it?

The lynching has succeeded!

Pete

From randy@unx.sas.com Mon Jan 17 11:43:34 1994
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From: Randy Brown
Message-Id: <199401171935.aa25885@sabre.unx.sas.com>
Subject: Re: Removal from zero list
To: zero@ncsc.org (Zero Mailing List)
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 14:35:33 -0500 (EST)
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Status: RO

Forwarded message:
> Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 11:25:27 -0800
> From: Pete Litwinowicz
> To: litwinow@apple.com, zero@ncsc.org
> Subject: Removal from zero list
>
> Sent to me, but since I'm not the zero-meister...
>
> >From: Chris Johnson
> >Oh grow up. Get away from the computer, forget about graphics, go take a
> >vacation to someplace sunny and warm, eat a sub, sleep a little, destroy that
> >zero list,get some exercise, did I mention destroy that zero list or at least
> >take my name off it?
>
> The lynching has succeeded!

Those Cornell types, whaddya expect? Everybody there who *isn't* doing
graphics is just jealous of the ones there doing the real work, so you've
got to expect them to be a little touchy.

;-) ;-) ;-) for the incredibly humor impaired!

--
Randy Brown SAS email: randy@unx.sas.com Work #: (919) 677-8001, x6852
SAS Institute UNC email: brown@cs.unc.edu Home #: (919) 942-2527

From howard@maptronix.com Mon Jan 17 11:44:52 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 14:31:06 EST
From: howard@maptronix.com (Howard Lander)
Message-Id: <9401171931.aa17116@maptronix.com>
To: zero@ncsc.org
Subject: matrices
Status: RO

In reference to the origins of this list I propose we start the graphics topic
of the day. You can pick any topic or category, and best of all, there aren't
any pesky editors to tell you no!

Since it was my idea, I'll start. The category is stupid textbook tricks.
Today's topic is matrices and our good friends Foley, vanDam, Feiner and Hughes.

What clowns these mortals be!! All at once now, pull out your copies of
Computer Graphics Principles and Practice (second edition) and turn to pages
212 - 213, look at equation 5.36 and start laughing. y' = x*r12 + y*r21 + ty
are they joking or what? I mean what the hell do they think r22 is for
anyway? Do they think we'd waste a perfectly good matrix cell for their
entertainment? I mean, c`mon y' = x*r12 + y*r21 + ty? Alright
y' = x*r12 + y*r22 + ty, maybe they could fool a few of us with but
y' = x*r12 + y*r21 + ty is just unspeakably stupid. What do they take us for?
(Probably about $54.95 each! I mean i've never been so angry since ..., since
uh ...

What, THE CAR was ON FIRE???!!!

Howard "Reclamation is my life" Lander

From randy@unx.sas.com Mon Jan 17 12:52:46 1994
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From: Randy Brown
Message-Id: <199401172051.aa26187@sabre.unx.sas.com>
Subject: Re: Removal from zero list (fwd)
To: litwinow@apple.com
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 15:51:40 -0500 (EST)
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Status: RO

Who is this joker?

Forwarded message:
> From chris@tc.cornell.edu Mon Jan 17 15:42 EST 1994
> Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 15:41:33 -0500
> From: Chris Johnson
> To: randy@unx.sas.com
> Subject: Re: Removal from zero list
>
> Oh grow up. I'm in a field that's much better than computer graphics and some
> of you will all be working for me one day!

--
Randy Brown SAS email: randy@unx.sas.com Work #: (919) 677-8001, x6852
SAS Institute UNC email: brown@cs.unc.edu Home #: (919) 942-2527

From randy@unx.sas.com Mon Jan 17 12:53:49 1994
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From: Randy Brown
Message-Id: <199401172051.aa26178@sabre.unx.sas.com>
Subject: Re: Matt's version of "What happened?"
To: zero@ncsc.org (Zero Mailing List)
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 1994 15:51:01 -0500 (EST)
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Forwarded message:
> From: Matt Fitzgibbon
> Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 15:20:11 EST
>
> The following article is crawling around the net. It refers to all the
> things that made the zero list great: "beer," "concrete," "Zima,"
> a "southern state," the "Hindenburg," "frustrated students,"
> BOG's alter ego (the enigmatic "Mr. Saito"), and transparent
> hexagonal bottles which could be rendered by "computer graphics."

Man, this is it! The moment we've been waiting for! Natural selection?

> Excuse me, but did you know that your beverage is on fire?
> -Matt
>
> 1. The bottle caps are equipped with a safety
> valve to prevent excess build-up of pressure in high temperatures.
>
> 2. It has inspired a new fashion of blowing flames from one's mouth using a
> cigarette as an ignition source.
>
> 3. The bottles are packed in special crates lined with concrete to
> prevent chain explosions in the event of a fire.
>
> However, the company has hesitated from marketing the product in the US due
> to legal complications.

Whoa, they sure catch on quick! You'd think this wouldn't even cause
the blink of an eye in today's litigous society.

Randy 'give me a can of Lysol/WD40/hairspray/ether and a lighter anyday' B.

From litwinow Mon Jan 17 14:48:41 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 14:48:38 -0800
From: Pete Litwinowicz
Message-Id: <9401172248.aa25497@apple.com>
To: litwinow, zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Re: basketball
Status: RO

Could you please not send me mail about basketball? I am not a
basketball player, and as such, do not enjoy reading about job
postings in San Diego that concern basketball. Please consult
your aliases before sending mail to the wrong person.

Pete

From bog@veritas.com Mon Jan 17 15:04:53 1994
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Message-Id:
From: bog@veritas.com (Bill Gallmeister)
Subject: Re: basketball
To: litwinow@apple.com (Pete Litwinowicz)
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 15:01:56 PST
Cc: litwinow@apple.com, zero@ncsc.org
In-Reply-To: <9401172248.aa25497@apple.com>; from "Pete Litwinowicz" at Jan 17, 94 2:48 pm
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11]
Status: RO

Could you please not send me mail about mail about basketball? I am not
a reader of mail about correspondence surrounding basketball players,
and as such, do not enjoy reading about reading about postings about
mail regarding job postings in San Diego (the postings, not necessarily
the jobs) that concern mailings about postings regarding basketball.
Please consult your aliases before sending metamail to the right person.

By the way, your mailer is ON FIRE.

- Bill O.

---
Bill O. Gallmeister bog@veritas.com
Veritas Software, Inc (408) 727-1222 x216

From howard@maptronix.com Mon Jan 17 15:22:09 1994
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Date: Mon, 17 Jan 94 18:03:58 EST
From: howard@maptronix.com (Howard Lander)
Message-Id: <9401172303.aa17707@maptronix.com>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: basketball
Status: RO

>
>
> Could you please not send me mail about basketball? I am not a
> basketball player, and as such, do not enjoy reading about job
> postings in San Diego that concern basketball. Please consult
> your aliases before sending mail to the wrong person.
>
> Pete
>
>

Get out the salt!!

Our fine young friend sent me some mail about my post. It was short and to the
point. I didn't save a copy of it. It basically said what cigarette smokers
say with every puff" "Boy am I stupid!"

By the way, there really is an error in Foley and VanDam

Howard

From templon@paramount.nikhefk.nikhef.nl Tue Jan 18 01:32:52 1994
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From: Jeffrey Templon
Message-Id: <1200.9401180930@paramount.nikhefk.nikhef.nl>
Received:
Via:
Subject: Re: What's happened?
To: litwinow@apple.com (Pete Litwinowicz)
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 10:30:44 +0100 (MET)
In-Reply-To: <9401171833.aa22659@apple.com> from "Pete Litwinowicz" at Jan 17, 94 10:33:31 am
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL22]
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Ldaka blathers:

>
> What's happened to the zero list? Oh the days gone by when you could
> say anything on the zero list and get away with it... or at least

You didn't need to shake things up, there was an earthquake to do
that.

> As an author on the zero list, it is my job to send messages to the
> wrong people. MY JOB, did you hear ME? And, for your knowledge,
> the zero list is founded on EVERYONE being a graphics weenie!

POINT - you're not doing your job. The last time you posted,
according to my records, BEFORE the job opening, was in order
to briefly say how you thought that Charles "Scud (TM)" Yaco
would look better in purple tights, and that NO Sharyl Atkisson
just didn't cut it as Gulf War News Babe (R). Post Pete Post.
Before you know it, will just get bothered because we'll say "Gee,
who is this stupid Pete guy raving on like he is a long-time zero?"

POINT - the zero list was founded on EVERYONE being primed for Sand,
Surf, Sex, and lots of Goebel's. NOT on Graphics. Graphics was
only a crutch, a means of maximizing your dollars, which in turn
means more beer. Don't you remember??

J "a mere early mammal compared to DinoPete" T

From templon@paramount.nikhefk.nikhef.nl Tue Jan 18 03:08:33 1994
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From: Jeffrey Templon
Message-Id: <4191.9401180937@paramount.nikhefk.nikhef.nl>
Subject: Re: Removal from zero list
To: litwinow@apple.com (Pete Litwinowicz)
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 10:37:33 +0100 (MET)
Cc: zero@ncsc.org
In-Reply-To: <9401171925.aa00536@apple.com> from "Pete Litwinowicz" at Jan 17, 94 11:25:27 am
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>
>
> Sent to me, but since I'm not the zero-meister...
>
> >From: Chris Johnson
> >Oh grow up. Get away from the computer, forget about graphics, go take a

Even the name "Chris Johnson" sounds geeby.

That's right folks, while they last, blue light special on Chris
Johnson Pocket Protectors, not to mention the special Chris Johnson
News Kill File Package and the extra "let's tell Chris How The Command
"rm -fr *" Will Write His Thesis For Him" instruction pamphlet.

J "CJ JC" T

From howard@maptronix.com Tue Jan 18 07:01:33 1994
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 09:53:04 EST
From: howard@maptronix.com (Howard Lander)
Message-Id: <9401181453.aa19119@maptronix.com>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: basketball
Status: RO

>
> You should see the message he sent to Sharon Walters (which she
> was so kind to send to me but not the zero list.... I think we should
> post all the dribble he has sent out to stimulate more basketball postings)
> Anyway he claimed about how much he was liked and respected at work, and
> how he didn't need characters like us to spice up his work atmosphere. And
> he went home at 5 and had a real life, unlike us.
>
> I haven't laughed so hard in years.
>
> Pete
>

Somehow none of this surprises me. What I want to know is who's idea was it
for him to be on the list, in the first place. I'll bet his mailbox is
pretty well stuffed by now!

Howard

From litwinow Tue Jan 18 09:05:27 1994
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 09:05:17 -0800
From: Pete Litwinowicz
Message-Id: <9401181705.aa05265@apple.com>
To: litwinow, zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Lynching, Part 2
Status: RO

Okay, so I want the person who put this (supposed) Chris Johnson on
the zero list to step forward. If you don't, we'll ferret you out and
beat you with a wet noodle, or perhaps Christian Laettner (although
they both seem to be the same thing).

Or was this some cruel hoax, put upon us by someone with root access
and a knowledge of sendmail(tm)? If so, we'd like to give you a medal.
We haven't seen this many postings since the advent of Kara Keeter on the
list a few years back.

So fess up you weasel! If you step forward now, nothing will happen
to you. Promise.

In any event, I haven't laughed so hard in years. Is this guy off
the zero list (zero-meister, can you answer this for us)?

Let's have us another lynching!

Pete

From templon@paramount.nikhefk.nikhef.nl Tue Jan 18 09:38:52 1994
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From: Jeffrey Templon
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Received:
Via:
Subject: Re: basketball
To: jeff@unx.sas.com (Jeff Creech)
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 15:30:26 +0100 (MET)
Cc: bog@veritas.com, litwinow@apple.com, zero@ncsc.org
In-Reply-To: <199401181400.aa28780@cicero.unx.sas.com> from "Jeff Creech" at Jan 18, 94 09:00:22 am
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>
>
> Could you please not send me mail about not wanting to see mail about
> mail about basketball? I am not a reader of mail at all, because I cannot

Could you please not send me mail about what sort of mail you do
not want me to send you? I have a hard enough time trying to figure
out just what it is *I* want, much less convincing other people
that it is a very good idea, and lots of fun to boot, to fulfill
my every desire. Thus I really have a hard time with the idea
that before I send you mail, I have to think "Gee, Is this the kind
of mail he/she would not want?" Why don't you be productive and
send me mail about what kind of mail you *do* want to receive.
That way, next time I want to send you mail I'll know exactly what
to ignore, rather than having such a vague idea.

J "alias, shmailias - zero is a MOVEMENT" T

From swalters@scripps.edu Tue Jan 18 09:48:25 1994
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 09:43:01 PST
From: swalters@scripps.edu (Sharon Walters)
Message-Id: <9401181743.aa13655@struct.scripps.edu>
To: litwinow@apple.com, zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Re: Lynching, Part 2
Status: RO

Better yet, let's make a contest out of it...can anyone guess who
put him on the zero list?

I have no idea, but he does work at the Cornell Theory Center...isn't
that a supercomputer center? closer to the east coast than the west...

From banks@icase.edu Tue Jan 18 10:12:48 1994
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 13:12:40 -0500
From: Banks David C
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: Lynching, Part 2
Status: RO

I laughed. I cried. _THE_ "feel good" thread of the new year.
The insatiable public clamors for more.

From hultquis@nas.nasa.gov Tue Jan 18 10:45:34 1994
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From: hultquis@nas.nasa.gov (Jeff P. M. Hultquist)
Message-Id: <9401181840.aa22289@wk206.nas.nasa.gov>
To: zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Working with Fabio
Reply-To: hultquis@nas.nasa.gov
Status: RO

>From: Chris Johnson
>Subject: Re: Job Opening!
>
> I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong email address.
> I'm not interested in a 3D graphics job and my background is
> entirely different from computer graphics anyway. Please
> recheck your alias list before sending out messages to the
> wrong people.

Dear Comrade Zero-Meister:
Please kick this person off the zero-list.
He has obviously failed to ingest the charter.

PS: Also, please put Pete LeitkeeterWisk on the list twice.
Peter is the living embodiment of the charter.

---
Jeff Hultquist hultquis@nas.nasa.gov
NASA - Ames Research Center (415) 604-4970
Do you want fries with that?

From whaley@q.concert.net Tue Jan 18 11:46:34 1994
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From: whaley@q.concert.net (Jonathan Whaley)
Message-Id: <9401181933.aa00889@q.concert.net>
Subject: Termination
To: zero@ncsc.org (The Zero List)
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 14:33:10 -0500 (EST)
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Status: RO

There's been a lot of talk about this group...

Maybe too much talk...

This list is not a rebel list...

This list is Zero Bloody Zero...

------------

anyway - Sorry to be so silent about this mysterious Johnson, but I've
been immersed in C++, which is clearly a standard spawned by Satan. This
is making me realize that device drivers are more FUN to write than C++
code, since most C compilers don't suck as egregiously as AT&T cfront.

Ahem...about that Johnson...

Finger reveals...
===================================================================
Login name: chris In real life: Chris Johnson
Directory: /home/staff/chris Shell: /bin/csh
On since Jan 18 13:21:33 on ttyt3 from 128.253.132.123
14 minutes Idle Time
New mail received Tue Jan 18 14:12:56 1994;
unread since Tue Jan 18 10:25:53 1994
No Plan.
==================================================================

Clearly this is a man with no plan...hell - not even a canal...or a Panama.

Deeper and deeper we probe into the zero archives...what do we see in
the Emacs ChangeLog, but...

--------------
Mon Jul 13 07:40:30 1992 Tom Palmer (palmer at doppler)

* Updated Ratliff's entry. Added chris@theory.tc.cornell.edu.

--------------

Just a mysterious entry from our man Palmer about adding the mysterious
Chris-who-does-not-like-our-list-at-all-despite-the-fact-that-he's-been-
on-it-over-a-year. Maybe he spends too much time away from his terminal
eating subs and frolicing in Sunny Cornell to read mail often. I know if
I had to wade through over a year of zero postings in one sitting I'd
probably fall off my chair as well.

So - unless someone can provide good reason to leave poor overwhelmed
Chris on the list...I remove him and he'll just be a anomolous entry
in the ChangeLog of Zero history...

btw - Did I mention the temperature is supposed to be 7 at RDU
tonight? What's up with that. I live in the sunny south dammit.

--
jpw: "It's so great my friend Keith is living out his childhood dream of
being a Paleontologist."
bac: "So Jon, was writing device drivers your childhood dream?"
======
Jonathan Whaley
whaley@concert.net

From chris@TC.Cornell.EDU Tue Jan 18 11:53:59 1994
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 14:53:49 -0500
From: Chris Johnson
Message-Id: <199401181953.aa05621@theory.tc.cornell.edu>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: Lynching, Part 2
Status: RO

Don't you have anything better to do? I'm now going to change my E-mail address
because of you people.

From surles@SDSC.EDU Tue Jan 18 11:26:18 1994
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 11:22:28 -0800
From: surles@SDSC.EDU
Message-Id: <9401181922.aa02581@cruella.sdsc.edu>
To: zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Re: the vote
Status: RO

Whaley! Why are you so silent? Are you the culprit? EAST coast supercomputer
center. Doesn't our current zero meister work at a so called supercomputer
center, granted it is one of those state hot dog stands, but maintain some
integrity. This is the zero list.

Ladka, Do you have any job postings for dancing bears that breathe fire
while singing the UNC fight song?

mark 'working at the supercomputer center at the beach' surles

From howard@maptronix.com Tue Jan 18 11:08:02 1994
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 13:53:08 EST
From: howard@maptronix.com (Howard Lander)
Message-Id: <9401181853.aa19909@maptronix.com>
To: zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Re: Lynching, Part 2
Status: RO

>
> Better yet, let's make a contest out of it...can anyone guess who
> put him on the zero list?
>
> I have no idea, but he does work at the Cornell Theory Center...isn't
> that a supercomputer center? closer to the east coast than the west...
>
Very clever, very clever indeed, why let's see .. hmm. Supercomputers, east
coast, must be ...

MARK SURLES!

Mark, why did you do it? Tell us!! At this point I should concoct some
incredible tale explaining this myself, but that's really more Bill O or
Pete or Dick's area and I wouldn't want to interfere (union rules are brutal
in N.C) so I'll just ask again.

Why Mark, Why?

Howard "I was serious about Foley & VanDam" Lander

From litwinow Tue Jan 18 13:06:52 1994
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id AA08335; Tue, 18 Jan 94 13:06:42 -0800
for litwinow
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 13:06:42 -0800
From: Pete Litwinowicz
Message-Id: <9401182106.aa08335@apple.com>
To: litwinow, zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Just one more
Cc: chris@TC.Cornell.EDU
Status: RO

From: Chris Johnson
>Don't you have anything better to do? I'm now going to change my E-mail address
>because of you people.

Well, no actually, I don't have anything better to do. I'm just
a leech on society, sucking down money and giving nothing back in return.
I don't have a life... I do wear a pocket protector... I work all the time...
and am a worthless individual.

It makes me feel better, though, that you think enough to pity me.

Pete

From howard@maptronix.com Tue Jan 18 13:43:00 1994
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 16:32:32 EST
From: howard@maptronix.com (Howard Lander)
Message-Id: <9401182132.aa20431@maptronix.com>
To: litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: Just one more
Status: RO

>
> It makes me feel better, though, that you think enough to pity me.
>
This is the line that really broke me up. I`m still giggling as I think about
it.

Our good friend gonad-breathe wrote back to me to tell me triumphantly that
it wasn't Mark that had put him on the list. Since I was just trying to
tweak Sharon a little, I laughed some more. I did tell him we weren't serious
and he should post back something truely outrageous just for the fun of it, but
I doubt he has it in him.

Howard

> Pete
>
>

From lts@westford.ccur.com Tue Jan 18 14:05:02 1994
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To: zero@ncsc.org
Nocc: litwinow@apple.com, zero@ncsc.org, lts
Subject: Re: Lynching, Part 2
In-Reply-To: Your message of Tue, 18 Jan 94 09:43:01 -0800.
<9401181743.aa13655@struct.scripps.edu>
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 16:55:58 EST
From: Lee Schermerhorn
Message-Id: <9401181654.aa26938@masscomp.westford.ccur.com>
Status: RO

>Better yet, let's make a contest out of it...can anyone guess who
>put him on the zero list?

>I have no idea, but he does work at the Cornell Theory Center...isn't
>that a supercomputer center? closer to the east coast than the west...

Hmmm! No Johnson in the Official Zero Directory, dated 17Dec93. Maybe
a net glitch directed zero mail to Mr. Johnson?

Lee "BOG put ME on the list" Schermerhorn

From banks@icase.edu Tue Jan 18 14:06:49 1994
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Message-Id: <199401182043.paa01352@fluke>
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 15:43:28 -0500
From: Banks David C
To: zero@ncsc.org
Subject: Senior Software Engineer
Status: RO

I don't know anything about this job. Or about the poster. Or the
company. I grabbed it randomly from misc.jobs.offered as a service
to you, the reader. Hope this helps. Maybe there's a finder's fee.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

An opening for a senior software engineer provides a challenging
opportunity for an individual with Macintosh and IBM PC programming
experience and extensive knowledge of C, C++, object oriented design,
real-time programming, and Motorola 68000 and 68HC11 systems.

Familiarity with Chemistry and Liquid Chromatography data systems and
instrumentation is required.

If this describes you, please send your resume to the LC Engineering
Manager, Rainin Instrument Co, 5400 Hollis Street, Emeryville, CA 94608.

From litwinow@apple.com Tue Jan 18 14:20:24 1994
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From: Pete Litwinowicz
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 11:27:15 -0800
Message-Id: <9312220520.aa28847@apple.com>
To: zero@ncsc.org, litwinow@apple.com
Subject: Re: Lynching, Part 2
Status: RO

>
>
> Or was this some cruel hoax, put upon us by someone with root access
> and a knowledge of sendmail(tm)? If so, we'd like to give you a medal.
> We haven't seen this many postings since the advent of Kara Keeter on the
> list a few years back.
>
Fortunately, root access isn't even required. All you need is a handy
little perl script, and the world is your oyster (I don't know what
that means).

> So fess up you weasel! If you step forward now, nothing will happen
> to you. Promise.
>
I didn't do it. But I wish I had.

PS. The San Diego Timberwolves is better than the Utah Jazz. Do the
Mormans even allow Jazz?

From kara@skatter.usask.ca Tue Jan 18 14:43:44 1994
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18 Jan 1994 16:42:48 CST
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 16:42:41 -0600 (CST)
From: kara@skatter.usask.ca (Kara Keeter)
Subject: Re: Lynching, Part 2
To: zero@ncsc.org, litwinow@apple.com
Message-Id: <9401182242.aa02424@skatter.usask.ca.usask.ca>
X-Envelope-To: litwinow@apple.com
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7BIT
Status: RO

> We haven't seen this many postings since the advent of Kara Keeter on the
> list a few years back.
>

Ah, now those were the days!!! Nowadays I am stranded up here in
what we lovingly refer to as Toontown, a fitting place for a Spiderman
character, eh? (note the Canadian accent) And, btw, rumor has it
the temperature dropped to about -40 last night. At that temperature,
it doesn't matter if it's F or C. And so today I went cross country
skiing at lunch.

Curtis, where's my fix of hoops news? Will I be reduced to going to
an NHL game on the 24th? Did y'all realize Duke has a 7' Canadian on
the team? Did y'all know Naismith was Canadian? Eh?

-Kara McKeeterwitz in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan (hometown of Shelly
from Northern Exposure)

From matt@Think.COM Tue Jan 18 17:09:28 1994
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From: Matt Fitzgibbon
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Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 17:17:08 EST
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To: banks@icase.edu
Cc: zero@ncsc.org
In-Reply-To: Banks David C's message of Tue, 18 Jan 1994 15:43:28 -0500 <199401182043.paa01352@fluke>
Subject: Senior Software Engineer
Status: RO

Date: Tue, 18 Jan 1994 15:43:28 -0500
From: Banks David C

An opening for a senior software engineer provides a challenging
opportunity for an individual with Macintosh and IBM PC programming
experience and extensive knowledge of C, C++, object oriented design,
real-time programming, and Motorola 68000 and 68HC11 systems.

Familiarity with Chemistry and Liquid Chromatography data systems and
instrumentation is required.

If this describes you, please send your resume to the LC Engineering
Manager, Rainin Instrument Co, 5400 Hollis Street, Emeryville, CA 94608.

Now THIS is more like it! I am only interested in postings about jobs
that involve knowledge of C++ and Liquid Chromatography data systems
located in Emeryville (although I will confess to an occasional
weakness for postings about jobs involving Fortran and Gas Chromatography
instrumentation in Barstow). Finally, the Zero list lives up to its potential.

Please, please, please: recheck your mail aliases and send more!

-Matt

-----Inline Attachment Follows-----

zero

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Re: [Zero] oldest "zero" post on disk...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

vfork(bog); execv(sleep_cry_eat)

Monday, May 12, 2008

CJ

autohomopyrokleptonecrobestiality

The definitive history of zero

what is this thing?

dustbunnies